Cher, Dressed to Kill: There Is no “If,” It’s When

I made a mistake last Tuesday. I’m a sucker for concerts, especially of legends. I also like to take my mom to concerts of artists that were from her young days. She can tell me when she used to watch them on the television from first-hand experience! This also serves as a good veil of deception when I just want to go to a concert.

So I got on Stubhub (a terrible, terrible website, don’t go there, you will be out money). I found 2 tickets, cheaply priced for Cher’s current Dressed to Kill Tour. I used to be a Cher fan, but I hadn’t listened to her for a while. I knew my mom and I would enjoy it together. And, did I mention that they were 3rd-row center?

Anyways, I had to have them. I had seen footage of many Cher shows and knew she put on a large production and I mean, come on, she’s Cher! So after finagling money out of this account and that credit card, the tickets were mine.

Saying the concert was spectacular is an understatement. I have always considered Cher the Goddess of Pop and she confirmed my accusations.

The concert began with her most recent dance hit, “Woman’s World.” She came down offphoto (3) a large pedestal adorned with a headdress colored in what I think would be peacock colors. As she descended, she proceeded to take off her outer covering, exposing what a flamboyant Egyptian queen would wear (again in my mind). She was the audience’s Cleopatra and we were willing to do anything under her rule. She then immediately went into Strong Enough.” This song took on a vibe of its own as her dancers came out with gladiator shields showing that this immaculate diva could take you down and that she had the army to do it (and that was minus the gay men).

One of my favorite sequences was when Cher returned back to her musical foundation. She recreated “I Got You Babe” with Sonny projected on a screen directly behind her. They sang the song together as if it were 1965 once again. It was a time to reminisce for even those that weren’t alive during that generation. It was a musical time warp.

photo (2)From there, Cher went into her 3 number 1’s from the early 1970’s, “Gypsys, Tramps, and Thieves,” “Dark Lady,” and “Half Breed.” The stage turned into a traveling Circus troupe with three main rings and dancers to fill them all. Cher, dressed in what only an ostentatious gypsy could pull off, proceeded into her first two songs declaring how all the men would come around and lay their money down (despite calling them tramps during the day) and how that ho of a dark lady stole her man. She then disappeared behind the center ring’s curtain. Seconds later, after what seemed to be a semi Native American pow wow performed by her dancers, she reappeared in one of her signature looks, an Indian headdress with a matching crop top, a flowing loincloth, and that jet black, hip-length, black hair.

She then went into a homage to her most recent movie Burlesque. I am sure this photo (4)was to please her younger fans. She did an awe-inspiring rendition of “You Haven’t Seen The Last of Me.” This was the vocal highlight of the show. As one who has sung and taken lessons, this song is just plain hard. Cher has also been quoted as saying she has never been accepted into the singing group or acting group amidst her qualifications. This song shows that she is a vocal powerhouse; better yet, a vocal mansion.

Then came what  I call the “down low” stage of the concert. She stripped it down for three
of her more acoustic songs “Walking in Memphis,” “Just Like Jesse James,” and “Heart of Stone.” Her vocals were perfection.

photo (6)

Then came what I think any moderate Cher fan was looking forward to. It was time for the leotard. You know that one that barely covers the “bathing suit” areas? You know that one with the thigh-high boots and 100’s of strategically placed rhinestones? Yeah, that one. She proceeded into “I Found Someone” and “If I Could Turn Back Time.” Everybody in the arena was groveling at her feet and every woman was trying to figure out why they couldn’t pull that outfit off at their age (including the youngsters).

Lastly, she performed her number one smash “Believe.” It was indeed amazing, although I felt it was her encore that solidified her as the goddess she truly is. As the lights went low and the audience yelling, a platform floated from the back of the arena and landed center stage. Once it landed, Cher emerged from the starry darkness. She had on a flowing dress and upon her head was what only a Diva Pop Goddess crown would look like (I didn’t know until then what one looked like). She was then lifted over the whole audience while singing “I Hope You Find It” from her latest album Closer to The Truth.

This was an especially emotional and moving time of the concert. Cher had said this

From Cherworld.com/ Phoenix show

From Cherworld.com/ Phoenix show

was definitely her last tour (with a wink, wink), but I think she may be serious. While she was singing the song, I felt like Cher was expressing contentment. She is accepted by people more important than the Oscar and Grammy elitist. She is accepted by thousands of fans that have adored her for 5 decades. She has finally done what we all hope to do, find it.

In the end, I walked away from the concert completely stunned. How a 67-year-old lady can perform and sing to that degree is astounding. She puts new performers to shame. For the longest time, one of my favorite Cher songs was “If I Could Turn Back Time.” Well, there was no question after the show. It was not “if she could turn back time,” it was when. The concert was about Cher, as a vocal, acting, and pop culture phenomenon without an expiration date.

photo (7)After reflection, I realized the concert sent a different message as well. She proved happiness is immortal, that acceptance is fleeting, and contentment was priceless. Only a performer of her caliber could prove this, and she is the only one that exists.

So, as a seasoned concert fanatic, I feel she best summed it up in her first “Farewell Tour.” She said  to all her younger contemporaries “follow this, you bitches.”

But let’s be honest…they can’t even find her footprint.

Leave a Reply